separation anxiety

because it is raining and i hate the rain

because i want to remain in bed but i had to work
because i can not contact my boyfriend who is being a student nurse and is lodged in some hospital's operating room

because i have not eaten lunch
because i simply miss having him around

p.s.
emo-ness is taking over my soul. damn you rain

weirdness

it's weird...

now that i write for a living, i find it hard to write on my own blog.

PusH

if you knew you'd only end up hurting someone, doesn't it make sense to put more effort in trying to be more than what you are instead of simply pushing that person away?
why risk losing someone who loves you when you have nothing to lose in the first place? is it too much to love somebody back?
but then again,
we can NEVER dictate the heart to be rational.

Trapped

in our desire to make things simple
we end up with more complexities in our lives
in our search to face the truth
we somehow bind ourselves in lies
we long for the light to save us
yet we prefer to remain in the dark prisons that we create...

YouR WoRds

open your mouth to speak and i'd listen
i can take your stories of life
i can take your troubles and worries
i can take your anger towards people i barely know
open your mouth and speak about me and i'd freeze up
you can't just expect someone to listen and not feel anything
no one can control their emotions. they just hide them.
no one can be as strong as you are.
you see, "sticks and stones can break my bones"
and you think like that nursery rhyme that "words can never hurt me"
but it did. your words did.
and your words sting like hell...
words don't hurt me - words can kill my soul

DamseL in Distress

he found me as an amazon princess
strong, free and having the world on her feet
little did he know -
that my independence was caused by my dealing with people at an arm's length
my fierceness was an act to protect myself from people who want to hurt me
my maturity came from lessons that scarred me in the past
little did he know that i was no warrior
i'm just a damsel in distress...
walking around with a stone cold heart

BeiNg TheRe

i always thought i don't deserve you. therefore i strive so hard to be the girl you deserve.
i'd do anything to please you. i try to make you proud of me.
i was willing to forget myself - to a point where i sometimes get burned out, trying to be someone i'm not.

and all the while - the only thing you needed was my presence....